I've done my first Tae Kwon Do test yesterday. I'll find out Thursday if I am no longer a white belt! It's pretty similar to Shotokan karate, but not quite a serious as when I and my brother trained in PA. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to get my white belt quite grungy. It wouldn't normally be a problem because I have no problem washing my belt, but because this school puts strips of tape as an indicator of skills you've passed, I can't wash without ruining their setup. But I must persevere just another four days and then I'll get a pretty new belt!
Over the last week, I've seen an abnormal number of ads for semi-interesting science fictions shows. Well, at this point, I've decided to share the wisdom found in viewing those shows.
1. If you walk alone and are not the hero, you will die... quickly... but not before screaming or firing a gun to alert others that there is a problem, but not giving enough information to be helpful.
2. If you walk in groups and hear a noise, there is a mysterious compulsion to break up into groups of two or three which then quickly break up into singles for mysterious reasons. The only exception are the heroes who !surprise! stay in a single group.
3. When a mythological, deadly creature, that can't open doors is wandering, no-one ever follows instructions to keep the door closed and locked; instead opening doors because... um... becau... hmm... apparently reason or emotion plays no role.
4. If you are a bad guy, and it's the end of the show, your reaction speed is slowed by somewhere between 520 to 565 percent.
5. Where do you hire security guards who are willing to kill at the request of the smallest evil peon? Do they ask on the hiring form? "Please check if you will kill without reason and sacrifice yourself to hide the boss's insecurity?"
6. If there is a line of walking, anonymous, walking bio hazard suits, the last person in the line wilw ALWAYS stop at the entrance of an alleyway and look the other direction while the hero/villain/dinosaur knocks him out without a sound.
7. Hands are not important. A small T-Rex can drop down out of a roof 2/3rds of it's body length and pull a person up into the roof within 2 seconds.... all while hanging by it's feet.
8. A minor hero can kill a monster in one shot to save the girl while two US black-ops members with full automatic weapons only make it retreat without any apparent wounds.
9. A king kong 300 feet tall can swat F-16's out of the air.
10. All scientists are really stupid. always. no exceptions. If the hero is a scientist, he is useful only because he is luck or he is bending the laws of physics.
Conclusions:
1. If my girlfriends starts growing hair as I watch, run.
2. Not remembering where I've been for over 12 hours ..repeatedly... is a matter for concern. I should mention it to a doctor instead of assuming it is an everyday occurrence.
3. If I'm on a wilderness trip, and all the guides have semi-automatic automatic guns, I can be pro-active and leave *before* getting stuck in whatever is going down. Optionally, it should be a law that I can be proactive by legally killing the guides. After all, the guides would have died anyway. :-D
4. A 15 foot cliff is NOT an absolute barrier, especially when I have rope and there are handholds all across the cliff face.
3 comments:
Ok, what movies did these come from? I want to watch!
Why should I spread that misery upon the rest of the world! 0h well. The only ones I can still remember are Grizzly and Grizzly Rage. One of them was about developing T-Rexs from chickens. The one about King Kong fighting Pteridactyls and F16s was so terrible I blocked out all memory of the name.
One more. Whenever a nuke or huge bomb explodes, the heroes will always be 5 feet from the edge of the blast hole when the dust settles. That happened in two seperate movies actually
Hmmm. If I remember right, the latest Indiana Jones also had the blast radius end five feet from him and his friends.
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